Category: Cool jobs

The Naked Cowboy Reads Nietzsche

“Everyone in the world knows me, and if they don’t, they will. It’ll be Buddha, Jesus, Naked Cowboy,” Burck says matter-of-factly. Photo: facebook.com/nkdcowboy

In a dimly-lit Times Square parking lot, Robert Burck, a fair-haired man with bulging biceps and tired eyes, lounges in the driver’s seat of his pristine Cadillac Escalade. There, he remains incognito, clad in cargo shorts and a black t-shirt. Most don’t recognize him without his signature underwear and guitar strapped across his chest.

Burck — more commonly known as the Naked Cowboy — has always been one for showy displays of attention. Each morning, he drives the 20 minute commute from his motel in Secaucus, NJ, to the Icon parking lot in Times Square. By noon, he’s working the crowds, serenading tourists and posing in photos for thousands of passers-by wearing nothing but a hat, cowboy boots, briefs, and a strategically placed guitar.

Particularly prone to exaggeration and contradiction, Burck expresses an impatience for people and their faulty cameras; minutes later, he proclaims himself a “social genius.” After reading Tony Robbins’ Unlimited Power, he says, he grew obsessed with writing self-affirmations and personal goals. He reveals a stack of college-ruled papers, perhaps several hundred sheets thick, held together by a large binder clip. The papers are clearly worn: the edges fray and the dark circles and underlines on each page bleed together.

This summer, Burck’s manager sent a cease-and-desist letter to the Naked Indian, who recently started showing up in Times Square. Burck believes he is stealing his act.

The 41-year-old climbs out of his Escalade, takes off his t-shirt and shorts, and slithers into a pair of tighty-whities. They’re a boys’ size 12. “No undies when I’m not working,” he explains. A few swipes of deodorant and a quick guitar tune-up later, he swaggers out of the parking lot into more familiar territory, strumming a tune: I have tons of fun, just shaking my buns, all day long, out here in the sun. Within minutes, a crowd surges around him. Two girls giggle and point: “Oh my God, it’s that guy.” Another couple, struggling with a subway map: “This is so New York.”

Age: 41
Based in: New York, NY; Secaucus, NJ
Grew up in: Cincinnati, Ohio
Graduated from: University of Cincinnati, Bachelor’s degree; Xavier University, incomplete Master’s degree
Previous jobs: Stripper; waiter at T.G.I. Friday’s; male model
Years in the business: About 13

Where did your identity as the Naked Cowboy originate? In 1998, I was in Venice Beach, California, shooting for Playgirl magazine. I took out my guitar, and the photographer suggested playing in my underwear. I made over $100 that day from tips. I did the same thing a few days later in Cincinnati, got arrested, and made the news. The next morning, I left town in my beat-up BMW and did the same thing driving across the country, getting arrested along the way. I finally landed in New York, and I’ve gotten better at not getting arrested.

How does one get better at not getting arrested? Don’t push the envelope, don’t be a jerk. For two years, before landing in Times Square, I would call the media and the police on myself.

Weather conditions that keep you inside: I don’t go out if it’s pouring rain, because people won’t interact with me. I stand outside during 90% of the winter and wear a full-length mink coat to warm up in between rounds. I don’t get sick; being sick is a state of mind.

A small opening in the top of the guitar collects cash. Burck also glued on a small mirror.

Source of income: I charge $1 for up to 100 photos with me, but most people stop at two. I probably make about $100 an hour, especially in the evenings. Then there’s the money from my three music albums [including an X-rated country album], my endorsement deal with Blue Island oysters, my merchandise, and the Naked Cowboy Bar and Grill that’s opening soon.

Ratio of adults to kids who approach you: Yesterday, I picked up at least 80 people off the ground, 60% of which were old people and grandmas. They’re not scared, because I’m strong as sh*t.

Your driving force: Reading and studying. I read six to seven hours a day, and have for 24 years. I read psychology, philosophy, Spanish. I want to be the smartest motherf*cker on the face of this Earth.

Currently reading: The Art of Seduction, for probably the third or fourth time. I’ve read Robert Greene’s The 48 Laws of Power at least six or seven times. And Emerson’s essays, which are sitting at my hotel – I’ve read those about 100 times.

Your hotel? For the last 13 years, I’ve lived in the Royal Motel in Secaucus, New Jersey, right outside the city. It’s only $50 per night. My mailing address is still my mother’s in Cincinnati.

Burck keeps two pairs of boots in the trunk of his car at all times. He wears each pair for two or three weeks before selling them on his website.

Where do you keep your belongings? I have a suitcase in the backseat with all my underwear, my guitar, my boots, my hat, and a few other things. My hotel room has a spare guitar, my mink coat, and a suit and tie from my high school graduation. That’s all I need.

Brand of underwear: Fruit of the Loom, which is what my mother bought me when I first started. They come in packs of six, but I always keep a seventh just in case. I wear two pairs at a time: one painted with Naked Cowboy, and one unpainted. When they get old or stained, I sell them for $50 on NakedCowboy.com.

They look really tiny. They’re a size 12, which is meant for boys who are about 114 pounds. I weigh 200-something. I haven’t missed a day at the gym since I was 17 years old.

Do you stay this tan year-round? In the winter, I supplement a little bit. Right now, even with all the sun, I have a lighter spot on my leg where my guitar sits.

How do you unwind after a long day? I go to my hotel, have a glass of wine, and write in my journal for a few hours about how great I am, how my expectations are always fulfilled, how I’m a child prodigy.

Can you read me something you wrote recently? I am the most incredibly polished, spontaneous, talented, hilarious performer of all times. [I am] the most fabulously built, ripped, and determined body and mind ever created. […] [I am] an American icon, true badass, no-fear cowboy. The only Naked Cowboy.

That seems a bit arrogant. People don’t understand humility. It’s not about downplaying yourself.

Are you religious? I’m God Almighty. The God you worship is the God you are capable of becoming, in the words of Joseph Campbell. Do you know him? J.C., Jesus Christ.

Guitar go-tos: Mostly just sh*ts and giggles, except when I play full songs and pretend I don’t see people. My guitar is just an unlikely vehicle to get people’s attention. People even tell me I can’t sing very well.

Burck meticulously documents his meals, reading logs, and schedule into black marble notebooks. To date, he estimates he has filled about 400 journals over the past 13 years.

What would people be surprised to learn about your job? Standing in Times Square is hard work. If people come up to me with the wrong attitude, I double their wrong attitude, and they scurry off in fear. I don’t waste time with people who are wasting my time.

Best part of your job: Freedom.

Most challenging part of your job: Nobody’s camera is ready. Nobody knows how to shoot a picture. After a few hours, I’m kind of like, I’m never coming here again. When it’s raining, it feels like it’s never going to shine again.

Are you dating anyone? I have a girlfriend who I see once every few days. She works at the Cranberry Café, where I’ve eaten lunch every single day for the past 10 years. When my last relationship ended, I ended up with her, because she was the only girl I knew.

Do you walk naked into the café? I’ve been in many places naked, but I don’t do that anymore. I have a key to the executive bathroom here in the Icon parking lot, where I’ve parked for free for 10 years. These guys are the best.

You mention that you’re the only Naked Cowboy, but now it’s a franchise. That happened about two years ago. There are four Naked Cowboys, myself included, and four Naked Cowgirls, all part of Naked Cowboy Enterprises at different spots throughout Times Square. They just came out of the woodwork and approached me about it. The black Naked Cowboy was selling comedy tickets in Times Square.

You ran for mayor in 2009 and announced a run for the 2012 presidency as a Tea Party candidate. Those both fizzled. Any future plans to run for office? When they knock on my door and beg me to run because I’m the best man for the job.

Dream job as a kid: I wanted to be the most celebrated entertainer of all time. I did whatever I could to have all eyes on me. Everyone was always telling me what I couldn’t do.

The tattoo on Burck’s right arm depicts a devil, and the one his left depicts Jesus. “It shows I can be as evil or as good as I want,” he says.

Like getting that tattoo on your arm? When I was 16, I was on house arrest, so I got this tattoo of the devil’s head. It was the coolest picture I could get for $60. Later, I got Jesus on my other arm to balance it out.

How do you spend your time when you’re not reading or in Times Square? That’s really it. I can be the life of any party, but why spend all that enthusiasm on a few people in a room when I can spend it on thousands of people walking through Times Square?

Does your family visit you here? I send them envelopes filled with money every week. I stamp each dollar with my Naked Cowboy stamper and sign each dollar coin.

Do you want kids? Nope, not for as long as I live. And I don’t plan on dying. Ever.

Visit the No Joe Schmo Facebook page for more behind the scenes with the Naked Cowboy (and to find out how he signs his text messages).

Follow the Naked Cowboy on Twitter at @TheNakedCowboy and on his Facebook page. All photos courtesy of Megan Hess unless otherwise specified.

The Dirty Car Artist

Scott Wade was dubbed “Lord of the Dust” at an event in Istanbul, Turkey, and “the da Vinci of Dust” by the National Enquirer.

Like many others with families to support and mortgages to pay, Scott Wade works full-time in an office cubicle, glued to his computer screen for a majority of daylight hours.

But in his other life, cars are his art and dirt is his palette.

Wade began doodling in filthy car windows as a way to relieve the stresses of his 9-to-5 job as a graphical user interface designer. He discovered a new meaning of “screen time” — one that involved intricate designs on windshields and 10-foot-tall storefront windows. A hobby that began on small-town dirt roads in Texas evolved into the viral phenomenon of Dirty Car Art, bringing Wade to Lisbon, Istanbul, and London. But his toolkit remains simple: brushes and vegetable oil.

“[My artwork] challenges our perceptions of what’s beautiful,” Wade explains in earnest. “It takes what we think of as an eyesore, and flips that on its head.” But like sidewalk chalk art and sand sculptures at the beach, impermanence comes with the territory. His masterpieces only last until the next rain.

Age: 53
Graduated from: Texas State University, BFA in commercial art
In the business for: 9 years
Based in: Wimberley, Texas (about 30 minutes from Austin)
Previous jobs: Arts and crafts instructor; freelance designer; drummer

The dusty roads in Texas must make for ideal dirty car conditions. I used to live on a long dirt road, and the blend of limestone dust and gravel and clay resulted in a fine white dust that coated the rear window. My first 50 or 60 creations were on cars that got naturally dirty just from driving up and down that road, building up successive layers baked on by heat and humidity.

And now? I don’t live on that dirt road anymore, and I’m doing a lot more creations for events. So I had to figure out a way to make a car dirty that wasn’t. I ordered Fuller’s Earth substitute — the same thing that makes dust clouds in the movies — and made it stick to the windows with a thin coat of vegetable oil. But I still love working on real dirty cars; they look much more three-dimensional. I miss those old days.

Wade creates original drawings as well as representations of recognizable art, such as Girl with a Pearl Earring.

What sparked your realization that a dirty rear window makes the perfect canvas? If you’re a fairly curious person, you can’t resist playing on a dirty car window, even if it’s just a smiley face or a “wash me.” It’s an impermanent canvas, so you’re free to play with it.

It probably helped that you majored in art. I think I picked up drawing from my dad; he was a really good amateur cartoonist. Living on a mile and a half of dirt roads, we never washed our car, so I’d always doodle in the windows. Then, one day, I used my fingernail and a popsicle stick to do some cross-hatching. And then I went inside to get my brushes, and realized that I’d found a real medium.

Your toolkit: A chisel-point rubber paint shaper tool, which acts like a pencil; different-sized fan brushes; and large brushes for the background. I do lot of work in Adobe Photoshop to figure out my designs, but the dirt is forgiving.

Do you carry the brushes with you for unsuspecting dirty cars? Sometimes, actually. That would be a great candid camera TV show: I could hang out at movie theaters, and when a really dirty car pulls up, draw in their windows. Since they’re at a movie theater, you know they’ll be gone for at least an hour or so.

Your first drawing: A reproduction of the Mona Lisa with van Gogh’s Starry Night in the background. I sent it to some friends via email, and bloggers began linking to it. Then I got a call from the National Enquirer.

And then your work went viral. Did that surprise you? Who would have thought people like looking at dirty pictures on the Internet? [Laughs.] I did receive some serious flack for a portrait of my daughter, which looked like she was being abducted. It was supposed to be funny, but it turned out creepy.

Your dream dirt drawing: I want to do a portrait using someone’s cremated ashes on the windows of a hearse. It would be weird, but also compelling.


Best part of your job: Most artists are isolated in their studios, but I’m creating artwork while people look on and talk to me. It took awhile to get used to, but I really enjoy that aspect.

Most challenging part of your job: Dealing with the business side of things, which I think a lot of artists can relate to. The medium itself is also very challenging. Dirt is not uniform, and the results are never what I totally expect.

What would people be surprised to learn about your job? A dirty car is typically an ugly thing. But when people see that dirt can be turned into beautiful art, it really challenges their perceptions.

Best reaction to telling a stranger about your line of work: I always get a cocked eyebrow. I can tell they’re thinking, Oh, it’s probably just some little doodles. Then I show my representation of the Birth of Venus by Botticelli, and they’re totally floored.

Do you wear protective gear to avoid breathing in dirt and dust? I might wear a paper mask, depending on the wind’s direction. When drawing on storefront windows, I wear goggles and a respirator.

You mentioned the medium’s impermanence. How do you justify putting so much effort into something that the rain will wash off in seconds? It’s a lesson in letting go, in understanding that life is just a series of moments passing by. If you try to hang on to something, it causes grief and heartache. If you can just be happy you had the experience, it frees you up.

One of Wade’s most recent works: The Marx Brothers. His creations can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 6 hours.

Fee per job: I charge by the day, not by the car. My corporate rate is $3,500/day, especially overseas. My nonprofit rate ranges from $650/day to $1,200/day.

When you tell your daughter to clean her dirty room, does she argue it’s just “art”? I don’t think she’s ever used that argument, and I’m not going to mention it to her.

LAUNCHING YOUR CAREER>>
There are a lot of people who have made careers out of doing something special in their medium, like Julian Beever’s 3D pavement drawings. Be unique in the way you do art: that’s what gets attention. This type of work can be very rewarding and enriching. Click here for a full gallery of Scott Wade’s work.

Impressed by dirty car art? For more artsy No Joe Schmos, meet the glassblower and the pop-up paper engineer. 

The Woman Revolutionizing Airbrush Tanning

Tamar Vezirian contours and sculpts her clients’ bodies with a spray gun. Photo: Yvonne Lynch

“No showering until tomorrow morning,” Tamar Vezirian instructs. “And no bikram yoga. The tan comes off more quickly if you sweat through your pores.” The woman nods obediently, handing over her credit card.

Half an hour later, another trim, blond woman opens the door, more warily than the previous customer. It’s her first time at an airbrush tanning salon. “If you don’t want tan lines, take off your underwear,” Vezirian says matter-of-factly.

Last year, Vezirian, a self-described “tanning drill sergeant,” opened Gotham Glow, an airbrush tanning salon in the heart of New York City’s Flatiron District. After nine years in the industry, she realized she couldn’t maintain a client base of 10,000 from her cramped one-bedroom apartment. To her neighbors’ annoyance, clients were lining up outside her door or inadvertently ringing their doorbells. Vezirian was repeatedly telling her subletter not to come in because naked women were drying their tans.

Now, with a roster of some 30,000, including names like Mariah Carey and Paula Abdul, Vezirian is trying to reverse the bad rap often assigned to the airbrush tanning industry.

Click here for the chance to win one in-studio tanning session at Gotham Glow through No Joe Schmo.

Age: 33
In the business for: 9 years
Graduated from: I only went to high school, and then acting school in San Francisco. So I went to the school of hard knocks.
Previous jobs: Makeup artist for 17 years; standup comedian; waitress

Your “in” to the tanning industry: I found a job on Craigslist working for an airbrush tanning salon, which, at the time, was the first airbrush tanning salon in New York City. I came from a makeup background, so I was good with the spray gun and making people feel comfortable naked. Making people comfortable is 90 percent of the job.

What instigated you to start your own business? I started taking on clients as a side hustle while doing comedy shows. But it got big; for the last six years, I’ve had 115-hour workweeks. I finally opened my own salon about a year ago, but before then, I tanned out of my apartment, which I subletted from the guy who played Cookie Monster on Sesame Street. It was pretty ghetto.

I’ve never gotten a spray tan. Can you walk me through the process? Exfoliate beforehand, and make sure you don’t have any moisturizer on when you come in. The whole process takes about 10 minutes, including drying time. You stand naked, and I go through poses like an aerobics workout. I’m like a drill sergeant: Start with your back toward me, arms all the way up, bend all the way down! Let me have your hands! Suck your cheeks in, turn to the side, bend all the way down! People start laughing in the middle of [my instructions], but I’m just in the zone. Then you dry under a fan for a few minutes.

Post-tanning rules: As the day progresses, you get darker and darker. You can shower after eight hours, and then all the surface stuff comes of. You’re left with a nice, even tan for five to 10 days.

Above: the waiting area at Gotham Glow. Vezirian still makes house calls to special clients, to which she totes a pop-up tanning tent. Photo: C. Bay Milin

How do you put people at ease about stripping down? I’m very gifted that way. I guess I have an I don’t really give a sh*t attitude. Women with breast cancer who have had mastectomies, who haven’t even shown their husbands, get naked in front of me. Even Catholic girls who have a lot of guilt feel totally comfortable. My whole life has been filled with naked women, actually; I was once a makeup artist at a strip club.

Do most go fully nude? Yeah, or just underwear. Women wear thongs, men wear boxers or briefs. I tell women who are breastfeeding to wear strapless bras.

You tan some very wealthy, powerful women. That’s an interesting juxtaposition: they stand vulnerable while you’re in control. People can get very bitchy and demanding when they feel vulnerable. After many years, I have learned to put them in their place and say, “I’m not going to bother tanning you if this is how you’re going to talk to me.” Usually, that does the trick.

Do male clients ask for spray-on abs? I do some light contouring underneath the belly or on triceps, but I won’t just put two strips down your abs. That’s ridiculous. You have to come in with a little definition; I can’t make a severely overweight person have a six-pack.

Best part of your job: I love running my own business. I have ADHD and need to keep going all the time, and this is the perfect fast-paced environment.

Most challenging part of your job: Other people working for me and making sure they’re up to par. I have three girls who work for me, but I’m looking for more. To me, a great personality and honesty are more important than tanning experience.

What would people be surprised to learn about your job? Very fit women with amazing bodies are more shy of getting naked than overweight women. Overweight women are much more confident and have no shame.

Your celebrity clients: I recently tanned Mariah [Carey] before she went to sing for princes somewhere. I’ve done Paula Abdul, Courtney Love, and a lot of reality show people.

Photo: cinemablend.com

Do you get starstruck? No. I care more about seeing Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm than Madonna.

Most memorable tanning stories: One client threw me her stiletto Christian Louboutin shoe and a $100 bill to chase a cockroach around her apartment and kill it. I was like, Eh, I’ll do it for 100 bucks. Gotta pay the rent. Another time, a prominent New York doctor started dancing in my tanning tent, but there wasn’t any music playing. I had to kind of follow her body with the tanning gun.

Ingredients in your tanning solution: It’s all-natural and homemade using sugar cane, beets, aloe, vitamins A and E, hemp, and grape seed extract. Airbrush tanning has a stigma of being tacky and orange, but I specialize in light, natural, sun-kissed looks.

Do you self-tan? Yes. I have it on right now. But it’s like working at a restaurant; you’re always in it. So the last thing I want to do is spray-tan before going home.

The tanning mom story got a ton of media attention. What was your reaction? The media always focuses on stories like the tanning mom and puts a negative spin on the tanning industry. But I tan so many people who can’t go in the sun: people with melanoma, with lupus, who went through chemotherapy. Instead, they come to me, and that’s a good thing.

Cost per session: $75 for an in-studio tan; $50 for half-body tan. House call are $150 to $200, depending on location; I service Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, and Staten Island. I also do parties and on-site photo shoots.

Guilty pleasure: Pork belly and duck. I’m a meat-and-potatoes kind of girl.

The wall above the front desk at Gotham Glow. A large part of Vezirian’s growing client base comes from Yelp, she says, where people find others with similar tanning fears. Photo: C. Bay Milin

Your required reading: Business books, like The Tipping Point and The E-Myth. I love reading about other business owners and how they succeeded.

LAUNCHING YOUR CAREER>>
1. Work for a tanning salon as a receptionist or booking coordinator. You’ll learn how to talk to clients and the do’s and don’ts of the business.

2. Spray all different types of people: really skinny, really overweight, darker and lighter skin tones. The more people you tan, the better you’ll get at it.

3. Learn to feel comfortable in front of naked people. Clients will be able to tell if you’re nervous, and then they will get nervous. Confidence can take years of experience. Above all else, give great customer service.

Enter below for the chance to win one in-studio tanning session at Gotham Glow. Entry period closes on Sunday, August 19 at 11:59 p.m. ET.

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Odd Jobs at the Olympics

Photo: Reuters/Jorge Silva

There are plenty of odd things about the Olympics, from the Industrial Revolution bit during the Opening Ceremonies to the crazy faces cameras capture of divers mid-catapult.

But some of the weirdest aspects may occur off the court and out of the pool. The New Yorker chronicles some of the No Joe Schmos who are the axles and gears of the Olympic Games. One of my favorites: the people who drive the remote-controlled mini-Mini Coopers that retrieve tossed javelins, discuses, shot puts, and hammers. Oh, and the men and women sitting in folding chairs during the field events and scribbling down violations on pads of paper. I like to imagine they’re actually doodling things like Mrs. Ryan Lochte.

Click here for the full article on NewYorker.com.

(h/t Kara Landsman)

No Joe Schmo’s Summer Roundup

Photo: justincaseyouwerewondering.com

Worried that you missed out on a few No Joe Schmos this summer that may be changing the world? We’ve done the legwork for you: check out these four must-read No Joe Schmos. Fun fact: the top No Joe Schmo-viewing countries, after the United States, are, in order: Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, and India.

The SNL Cue Cards Guy | When he started out 20 years ago, Wally Feresten was almost fired for sloppy handwriting.

The Sommelier Wants to Sip Bourdeaux With Winston Churchill | Chris Cree is one of only 297 Masters of Wine in the world.

Foodie Friday: The Miniature Food Artist |  Israeli artist Shay Aaron began creating miniaturized food sculptures at 1:12 scale that look almost completely edible, and used the hobby to curb his appetite.

The Pop-Up Paper Engineer | Matthew Reinhart is the author and illustrator of elaborate pop-up books like Star Wars: Pop-Up Guide to the Galaxy.

Like what you see? “Like” the No Joe Schmo Facebook page for exclusive videos, photos, and scoops on upcoming features. If you have suggestions for future No Joe Schmos, comment on the “Suggest a No Joe Schmo” tab or tweet using #NoJoeSchmo.

Next up: Justin Bieber and Carly Rae Jepsen! Kidding. (Maybe.)