2012 has been an exciting year for No Joe Schmo. Most notably, we were featured on Forbes‘ first-ever list of Top 75 Websites For Your Career, and we hit our 100th post here on NoJoeSchmo.com. We’re planning even more exciting things for 2013.
This year-end list does not include viral videos, cats, or fiscal cliff jokes. Rather, it’s a handful of the some of the most cool-and-crazy No Joe Schmos featured this year. From the Naked Cowboy to Santa Claus, these are the stories of individuals that have made a living by finding — or making — work for themselves in unusual places. Happy reading, happy sharing, and happy New Year!
5.The Miniature Food Artist| Shay Aaron began creating miniaturized food sculptures at 1:12 scale that look almost completely edible, and used the hobby to curb his appetite.
4.The Magician Who Lives in the Waldorf Astoria| Steve Cohen brings in about 300 viewers each weekend – including high-profile guests like Martha Stewart, Barry Diller, and David Rockefeller – and a seven-figure annual income.
3. The Naked Cowboy Reads Nietzsche | Every morning, despite sleet and snow, 41-year-old Robert Burck climbs out of his Escalade, takes off his t-shirt and shorts, and slithers into a pair of tighty-whities. They’re a boys’ size 12.
2. The Mall Santa Who Wears Birkenstocks and Kneepads | Santa “Sid,” who has been working at the Mall of America every holiday season for 16 years, doesn’t wear a coat or hat. “The fur makes kids cry,” he says.
1.The SNL Cue Cards Guy| Wally Feresten was once almost fired for his sloppy handwriting. Now, 22 years later, he owns a successful cue card company that handles Saturday Night Live and Late Night with Conan O’Brien.
“A lot of people think I’m a therapist or a teacher. I’m not,” says Santa Sid. “I’m also not a stuffy old man with a beard. I’m a kid.” (Above: during one of two pet nights at the mall.)
The hardest part about being Santa Claus is making two-year-olds smile for photographs. But after 42 years in the business, one of the most experienced Santas in the United States has it down to a science. No coat or hat – the fur makes kids cry. He doesn’t scream at kids to sit still – he crawls onto the padded floor surrounding his chair to make eye contact.
And it works. He’s only had a handful of criers. “I thrive on winning kids,” says Santa “Sid,” which stands for “Santa in disguise.”
Santa Sid headlines The Santa Experience at the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota. It’s not your average shopping mall: Seven Yankee Stadiums could fit into the complex’s 4.2 million square feet. But then again, Santa Sid isn’t your average Santa. The license plate on his red Hyundai reads Santa S; his spare bedroom is filled with Christmas knickknacks, including a tree that stays up year-round; and kids frequent the pool in his backyard (duh, it’s Santa’s summer home).
Age: Santa is 1,500 years old. But I’m 58. Graduated from: Santa Claus University, with a Master’s degree in Santa Claus. Based in: I admit to having a summer home in Eden Prairie, Minn. Otherwise, Santa lives in the North Pole. I’ll retire somewhere warmer, but I wouldn’t know how to act in a place that never snows. Years as Santa: 42. I’ve been in the Mall of America for 16 years now.
How do you spend time on your off months, from January through October? I work at a company that makes aircraft parts called Hitchcock Industries in Bloomington, Minn. I just tell people that I make “big people toys.”
Previous jobs: I’ve always been in the kid business. I lost my 3-and-a-half-year-old brother to leukemia, so I started visiting cancer patients at hospitals dressed up as Santa. I spent two years as the Santa at a mall in Kalamazoo, Mich., before getting this job [at the Mall of America].
Although his hair and beard are 100% natural, Santa admits to bleaching his facial hair for “the workshop look.”
Was it a tough job interview? You needed a background check – local and federal. I showed them photos from my past, like one of me taking a nap with a baby on my chest. [See right for a similar photo from this year.]
I read that visits are by appointment only. My line used to be three or four hours long every day. Then someone came up with the idea to put me in a private room and book appointments. This year, before even opening for the season, I had 400 appointments. By December 1, I had 5,800 appointments.
Number of kids on your lap per day: I see 15,000 to 17,000 kids each season, which consists of 45 days.
Walk me through a typical workday. I work from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., take a one-hour break, work from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m., take a one-hour break, and work from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. I sit on the floor 99.9% of the day to get on eye level with the kids; I give them high-fives to get communication going. Then I go home, eat dinner, and go to sleep.
Do you use any props? I have a really cool kid rocking chair that’s all cushioned up, and I have a stool behind it. That way, kids don’t know I’m there, and we get lots of great pictures. I also have a floor built with kid padding for playing on the floor, and a stethoscope for taking photos with pregnant moms.
Where do you suit up? At home, before driving to the mall at 7:30 a.m. I own 80 different shirts, so I never wear the same one twice. I wear pants, suspenders, slip-on Birkenstocks, and knitted green, white, and red socks. I don’t wear a jacket; the fur makes kids scream. But I do wear kneepads, since I’m constantly on my knees with the kids.
A hat? Nope. I get my hair done at the hair salon at the mall, so I have hot rollers in my hair every day. Then I go to Starbucks [at the mall] to get my coffee.
Funniest “kids say the darndest things” moment: Maybe, “I want bacon.” Kids are simple – they usually want electronics and remote-controlled toys, or dolls. Sometimes they come with lists that are three to four pages long, though. I take the lists and say, “I’ll see what I can do.” I never promise anything.
Photo: activerain.com
Kids ask for different toys each year. What larger shifts have you seen in gift requests throughout your years as Santa? Things have gone very digital. I hear hundreds of requests for cell phones, iPads, tablets, Nooks. Once, a 3-year-old asked me for an iPhone 5. I tell kids that I have a toy factory – I want to talk about toys. Parents give me a thumbs-up for that one.
Best part of your job: I truly see the magic. I sit on the floor and look into children’s eyes – I see the sparkle, the smiles on their faces. I’m helping to be a part of that.
Most challenging part of your job: Too many 2-year-olds.
What would people be surprised to learn about you? I organized a Santa Club in Minnesota with 115 Santas. I help out a lot of guys.
I envision you guys swapping stories about bratty kids. We have three get-togethers a year: A pool party at my house in July, for Santas and Mrs. Clauses; a Christmas kickoff in early November; and a Blues Party when it’s all over, in February, at a hotel. All the Mrs. Clauses are great at making food – your Santas are plump for a reason.
At what age do you think children stop believing in Santa Claus? The magical age for believing starts around 3 – the 2-year-olds are more fearsome – and can go to around 10 or 11. When kids ask whether I am the real Santa, I tell them to pull on my beard and my hair. That way, I’m not really answering, but they walk away saying, he’s the one.
Do you hate Christmas music yet? No. I have it on all the time in my car, and in my back room during breaks. I especially love Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.”
Have kids ever recognized you as Santa during the off-season? All the time. My wife and I go out to dinner, and kids pass me notes, telling me they’ve been good or what they want for Christmas. On vacation in Mexico, kids wanted pictures. When you look like this, you live it.
Any children of your own? One, and he’s 30. He’s my No. 1 elf, out of my 860 elves. I also have three dogs, named Dasher, Blitzen, and Allof. That stands for “all of” the other reindeer.
Retirement plans: I’ll be doing this ‘til I’m dead. Right now, I’m working on a five-year contract.
Salary for the season: Many Santas start out at around $10,000 for the season. Salaries can reach $45,000 for the season, but that’s very rare.
Umpteen years ago, a psychic told me that I was going to do something wonderful with kids,” Santa Sid recalls. “[This job] might be draining…but I can put a smile on anyone’s face.”
If you could put one celebrity on your naughty list, who would it be? I don’t look at the bad in people.
Even Kim Kardashian? I don’t know [the Kardashians] or watch their show. That’s their lifestyle.
LAUNCHINGYOURCAREER>>
1. Become a child and learn to play. People sometimes tell me, You’re silly, Santa. That’s the biggest compliment in the world.
2. Learn to answer things as quickly as you can. Once, a little girl asked me Mrs. Claus’ first name. I told her I’d have to get out the marriage certificate to check.
3. An important part of the job is clean living. It’s an honor to be Santa. I don’t drink, smoke, or eat garlic. There’s never onion on my breath.
Unless otherwise specified, all photos are courtesy of Professor Bellows.
Steve Cohen, also known as the Millionaires’ Magician, has performed his show at the Waldorf Towers 3,000 times — for 250,000 people.
A cluster of of well-to-do couples huddle in the lobby of the Waldorf Towers in New York City, buzzing with anticipation. At the stroke of 8:45 p.m. on Saturday evening, a tall man in a tailored suit ushers everyone into a gold-plated elevator – the same one that the President of the United States rides when he stays in New York. Primping and fidgeting, the group lines up at a suite at the end of a hallway on the 35th floor. 58 people file in for tonight’s magic show in Steve Cohen’s living room, run solely by word-of-mouth.
Cohen’s “Chamber Magic” shows inspire an intimate, old-timey parlor feel. Attendees, many of whom have purchased tickets months in advance, are expected to dress well. He doesn’t bother with hats, rabbits, or sleight-of-hand tricks; instead, he uses one gleaming tea kettle to produce five different drinks at the audience’s request.
At age 10, Cohen worked the elementary school circuit, appearing at kids’ birthday parties and Cub Scout meetings. Now, he brings in about 300 viewers each weekend – including high-profile guests like Martha Stewart, Barry Diller, and David Rockefeller – and a seven-figure annual income. “I put people in an environment where anything can happen,” Cohen says, pausing to sip Kombucha tea (the ginger helps his throat). “People start thinking, Maybe there’s another force in the world, and this guy has control over it.”
Age: 41 Graduated from: Cornell University, psychology major; Waseda University in Tokyo, Japan Based in: New York, N.Y.
Years as a full-time magician: 17 Previous jobs: After graduating from Cornell, I stayed in Tokyo for five years as an English translator. It involved sitting at a desk with lots of legal work and patents.
That seems like a pretty far stretch from your current line of work. The translation work was terribly boring, but lucrative. I was eager to do magic, so I got some part-time jobs performing in hotels, and those got more and more lucrative. I came back to New York and started from scratch as a consultant for other magicians. Then, I started doing my own shows.
Who – or what – brought you into the world of magic? My uncle. He was very talented with cards, and taught me the fundamentals of card magic that you need to become a good magician. I spent all my times at family parties with him. He gave me a book called Magic With Cards, a book from the 1890s that is very hard to find.
How did you turn a childhood hobby into a multimillion-dollar business? For two years, after moving back to America from Japan, I lied to my wife and told her we were breaking even. But we were losing money every show; I lost about $200,000 of my own money. I was about to throw in the towel when an editor from DailyCandy.com came to review the show. Overnight, the show sold out for a year in advance. Then CBS Sunday Morning did a segment on me, and by the end of the week, I had sold $1 million worth of tickets. I had to add more shows.
Is the Waldorf your permanent home? I stay here on weekends. I have another apartment on the Upper West Side with my family – my wife and two kids, ages 12 and 8 – during the week.
Do your kids love magic? They each practice one trick each year, and on Father’s Day, they perform it at my show. But my daughter is more into it than my son. She’s a ham. But there’s not that many women in magic, if you think about it.
Why do you think more men than women are into magic? I’m not sure. But I don’t really recommend becoming a magician to anyone. People are constantly making gags about it. Imagine going into your child’s school for a parent-teacher conference, and the teacher says, “Your child seems to think you’re a magician of some sort.” You always have to explain what you do.
In your grand finale, two audience members shuffle two separate decks of cards. Then, you reveal that each card in the first deck falls in the exact same order as each card in the second deck. The audience really goes wild for that one. People seriously go bananas – they have heart palpitations. They can’t sleep that night. And I’m jumping up and down like Willy Wonka.
It’s funny you mention Willy Wonka. You remind me of him — Gene Wilder’s version, at least. The character of Willy Wonka has been a role model for me. I like his transition from mysterious man to crazed maniac – peeling away layers and seeing more and more about this nutty guy.
Did he inspire your three-piece suit, too? In London, I saw Prince William wearing this exact outfit – a morning coat, a vest with a little lapel, and striped trousers. So I went to the store where the princes shop, and bought that exact outfit. I think it’s so appropriate in this environment.
Cohen uses as few props as possible in his shows; he believes they create barriers and cheapen the experience. The kettle is an exception.
It plays into the magician archetype. People want the character of a wizard or a magician to come into their lives and give them hope and possibility. Why do you think Harry Potter is so popular? I’m not doing wizardry here, but I feel like Harry Potter or Dumbledore. People squeal in delight. During my “Think a Drink” trick, a woman in the front row actually cried. [For this trick, five audience members wrote down their favorite drinks, from vodka to banana smoothie. Cohen then produced these drinks from a small kettle.]
Best part of your job: Immediate feedback. I can tell by looking at audience members’ eyes whether I have them under my thumb. When people’s eyes are glowing, I know I’ve done my job. I’ve learned what captures people’s imaginations.
Most challenging part of your job: Nobody else in the world is doing this type of performance, so I don’t have a support team. I’ve lost the camaraderie of fellow magicians; a lot of them are jealous.
Resources for new material: The Conjuring Arts Research Center in New York has a database with every secret that has ever been published in magic, from the 1500s to present-day. You have to be a member or have special access.
Any pre-show traditions? David Copperfield once told me that he brushes his teeth with a certain toothbrush before every show. I joke around and say that I floss before every show. But the fact is, no. I’m very relaxed. Everything in my show is meticulously planned. Without fail, I know the precise minute that I’ll be saying a certain line.
The last time you got nervous: When Woody Allen came in and sat in the front row. I had cotton balls in my mouth, but he was the greatest audience. He laughed at all the right times.
On the Late Show with David Letterman, Steve Cohen performed his favorite trick, involving a lemon, an egg, a walnut, and a ring.
What would people be surprised to learn about your job? You can buy and sell secrets. I once licensed a trick from another magician for my show, but after the terms of the legal contract expired, he wanted the trick back. So I had to create my own version of the trick.
Your most expensive trick: I spent $10,000 for a trick that only lasts two or three minutes, but it’s a really good trick. I fill a flower vase with all different flowers and cover them with a handkerchief. Then, I ask an audience member to name her favorite flower. Say she responds with yellow tulip. I take the handkerchief away, and all the flowers have transformed into yellow tulips.
How do you deal with uncooperative audience members? People have predispositions toward magic shows. Those who give me problems – maybe they got embarrassed at a magic show when they were little. I handle them the same way I would handle kids, and try to diffuse the challenge by making my show lively and interactive.
One weekend, Warren Buffet paid Cohen to cancel all his shows and fly to Omaha (pictured above).
Your website boasts some of your more famous clients, like Warren Buffet. I still get people coming in here all the time, like, Warren sent me. I always carry with me a card that he signed.
Physical parameters of your show: I need to be inside of a room with no other distractions. People must be completely riveted on just me. I can’t have people thinking about what they’re going to make for dinner.
Your required reading:Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. It’s about how and why to persuade people to see things your way.
You never leave home without: My deck of cards. I rarely do magic outside of a venue, but it makes me feel good that I could, if I needed to.
Have you ever pulled a rabbit out of a hat? Yes, and it’s wonderful. I don’t do it regularly, though, because then you have to keep a rabbit as a pet.
LAUNCHING YOUR CAREER>>
Find a venue that is appropriate to your vision of magic, and become the person best suited for that venue. If you’re really good at performing at Bar Mitzvah parties, for example, become the very best Bar Mitzvah magician out there, and work tons of them.
Tickets for Chamber Magic range from $75 to $100; priced separately for private company events. Follow Steve on Twitter and on his Facebook page. All photos courtesy of Steve Cohen.
The Hello Kitty balloon is one of three new character balloons and six new floats this year. Photo: CBS 2
As Kermit, Hello Kitty, and Carly Rae Jepsen meander down 6th Avenue in New York City, thousands of onlookers ooh and aah. The annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade — celebrating its 86th anniversary this year — is as much a Turkey Day tradition as the turkey itself. For most Americans, the spectacle is all over in a few hours.
But for scores of designers and volunteers behind the scenes, the parade has meant months of plans and preparation. Yahoo! News recently interviewedJohn Piper, the creative director of Macy’s Studio, a ”nondescript New Jersey warehouse about 30 minutes outside of New York City” where the float magic happens. He lives 364 days for one.
In the interview, the 30-year parade veteran discusses the worldwide helium shortage, challenges brought on by Superstorm Sandy, and fitting ballons through the Lincoln Tunnel (certain balloons must be disassembled). Watch it on Yahoo! News here.
Team USA competed at the Olympic Quidditch Expo Tournament in Oxford, England, this summer. Photo: Bernard Scott Taylor
This is not your wizard’s Quidditch.
Yes, players run with brooms wedged between their legs (wearing Spandex, of course, to prevent “bristle burn”). But in Muggle Quidditch, feet remain rooted firmly on the ground, and the snitch – that pesky winged golden sphere – is just a small ball velcroed to the waistband of the snitch runner.
As chaser for the first United States national Quidditch team, Kedzie Teller has the following bragging rights: he’s one of the top 21 Quidditch players in the country. He competed alongside the Olympic Torch Relay. He’s basically a real-life James Potter, minus that detail about fathering The Boy Who Lived.
Quidditch first manifested as a Muggle sport at Middlebury College in Vermont, the birthplace of the intercollegiate Quidditch World Cup in 2007. Now, 824 teams exist in the U.S. alone.
Although Teller brought home a gold medal from the Olympic Quidditch Expo Tournament in Oxford, England, this summer, he bemoans the reality that many perceive the sport as “a bunch of goofballs with brooms” chucking balls into trash cans. But to Teller and his teammates, the broom compares to a tennis racket on the court or a baseball bat on the diamond. It defines the sport.
Age: 22 Graduated from: Boston University, degree in journalism Based in: Boston, Mass. Years playing Quidditch: 4 Position: I’m one of three chasers. We rack up points, which means we manipulate the quaffle – which looks like a volleyball – to score on one of three hoops. It’s a full-contact sport.
Don’t try this at home. Source: harrypottergif.tumblr.com
Did the Harry Potter series spark your interest in the sport? I’ve read all the books and seen all the [Harry Potter] movies, but I can’t call myself a Potterhead. I’ve never been to a midnight release.
So why Quidditch? I was recruited to Boston University for track, but after my first year on the team, decided it wasn’t for me. I’m very competitive, and needed to get involved in another sport. When I saw a Quidditch match at the Boston Commons, my friends and I decided to go to a practice. Then I started playing, and took on a leadership role [as team captain for two years]. People knew me as “the Quidditch kid.”
Ratio of Potterheads to competitive athletes on your college team: The beauty of the sport is that it attracts a spectrum of people. On one side of the gamut, you have Harry Potter-obsessed people living their dream. Then, there’s the really intense athletes. It’s nice to have a chance to see those two types intermingle.
How did you learn to run with a broom between your legs? It’s funny watching it for the first time, and it’s always awkward. In the beginning, I got sidelined a lot because I thought I had more dignity than holding onto the broom. But then it becomes second nature, like riding a bike.
“This photo is definitely of an illegal tackle, but it still looks fun,” Teller says. Pictured: Boston University playing against Emerson College.
Have you sustained any serious injuries from Quidditch? I sprained my ankle at a regional tournament last spring, but that’s about it. There are lots of cuts and bruises among amateurs who don’t know how to use brooms, but the most common injury during games is concussions from people hitting heads.
I imagine you don’t use household brooms. The ones we use are made specially for Quidditch. The most commonly used broom in today’s game is called a Shadow Chaser, though many teams also use Scarlet Falcons. I have one of each, and I don’t differentiate between matches and practice. You’ll see PVC pipe homemade brooms in many tournaments, since they are cheap to make.
Do you play Quidditch daily? After the Olympic tournament this summer, I’ve been in a lull. Sometimes, I help out my college team; I’d love for them to gain club sport status, since it’s still considered a social club. But my main priority is planning for Boston Massacre, a community Quidditch team that I’m launching in May. Right now, I’m building the buzz for that, as well as working with the International Quidditch Association (IQA) to hold an international tournament in April 2013.
How do you pay the bills? I’m an information risk specialist at MassMutual Financial Group. But I’m tapping my fingers, waiting for the day to end so that I can play Quidditch.
Does your health insurance cover Quidditch-related injuries? [Laughs.] I’m on a good program that helps me cover the expense of a few injuries per year. [Mass Mutual] is super supportive; I actually went through the hiring process while I was overseas competing in the Olympics Quidditch tournament.
The gold medal that Team USA took home after the Olympic Expo Games this summer in Oxford, England. Photo: Kedzie Teller
Some Quidditch teams wear capes. What does your uniform include? Our team [at Boston University] nixed the capes about four years ago. Now, they look like soccer uniforms – knee-high red socks, black shorts, white jerseys, whatever cleats we can find. Our jerseys for Team USA [see right] are made by Quiyk.
Best part of your position on the U.S. national team: Knowing that we’re building the foundation for something bigger – that we’re building a future generation of Quidditch players. Sports programs are reaching out to local Quidditch teams to run training sessions in elementary schools called Kidditch.
Most challenging part of the position: The reactions from people who don’t understand Quidditch. I’ve been an athlete for as long as I can remember, so to be part of a sport that other athletes look down upon – that’s not great for the ego. It’s also hard not getting the support we need. To many universities, we’re just goofballs with brooms asking for field space. They don’t think we deserve it, so we end up playing on a patch of grass behind a building.
Do your parents understand your passion for the sport? My mom didn’t at first, but she is one of my biggest supporters now. My dad almost broke into tears when he found out I made the national team; he knew how much it meant to me. The second I got picked for the team, I updated my Facebook status, and it got 400-something likes within four days. If I could relive any moment, it would be finding out I made the team.
Your Twitter must-follows: I follow the IQA religiously for Quidditch news; Serena Williams, since tennis is my other great passion in life; and The Boston GlobeandThe New York Times, since I’m a news junkie.
If you try to use #quidditch as a topic to chat with me about in an attempt to flirt, then say "How is that a thing?" You're doing it wrong.— Kedzie Teller (@Kedz) November 19, 2012
LAUNCHING YOUR CAREER >>Don’t be shy about reaching out to the IQA. You don’t need to know a lot about Quidditch to get involved. And don’t let people decide things for you. If I had listened to everyone around me, I would not be playing Quidditch right now.
Jeff Richman’s Halloween tours attract many first-time visitors to Green-Wood. “When you love something, you want to share it with people. You want them to appreciate it as much as you do,” he says. Photo: Jeff Richman
Monk parakeets caw on the 106-foot spires of the Gothic-style arch at the entrance of Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn, New York. Purple-grey clouds settle atop weather-worn brownstone mausoleums.
One may mistake it for the opening of a Stephen King novel.
But Green-Wood’s full-time historian, Jeff Richman, spends a lot of time trying to convince people that cemeteries are nothing to be afraid of. Among other responsibilities, he organizes year-round tours across the cemetery’s 478 acres, the most popular of which are the “murder and mayhem” Halloween tours. For those, Richman dons a top hat and kitschy pumpkin-embroidered purple vest.
Richman brags about Green-Wood’s more famous “permanent residents,” like Boss Tweed and Leonard Bernstein, as a proud mother might describe her daughter’s straight-A report card. When asked about his retirement plans, the grey-haired 63-year-old laughs: “We’ll see how this week goes.”
Age: 63 Graduated from: Stony Brook University, political science major; New York University School of Law Based in: Long Island, New York Previous jobs: Practiced criminal defense law for 32 years
Years in the business: In 1990, I started giving tours of Green-Wood and researching to write a book about the cemetery. I realized there was a ton of misinformation and incomplete information, and I wanted to clear that up. In 2000, I became a part-time historian here, and went full-time five years ago.
What initially brought you to Green-Wood? When I was young, I collected stereoscopic views, which are images placed in a stereoscope to create a 3D effect. I kept coming across images of Green-Wood from the 1860s and 1870s, so when I saw an ad in the newspaper for a photography tour of Green-Wood, I wanted to see whether it had changed in 130 years.
Did you have an “aha” moment during that tour? As I walked through Green-Wood, it occurred to me: This was a landscape in the middle of urban Brooklyn that had remained unchanged for over a century. I immediately knew it was the place for me, so I returned again and again, and soon started leading tours while practicing law part-time.
Green-Wood, which was founded in 1838 as one of America’s first rural cemeteries, was designated a National Historic Landmark in 2006. Photo: green-wood.com
Responsibilities as historian: It’s pretty varied. I lead weekly tours, blog for Green-Wood.com, and pick out plants for the gardens. I’m involved with curating exhibitions, writing books, and collecting things pertaining to the cemetery itself or the people buried here. I also work with our cutting-edge restoration team. Using an old photograph, we identified the broken remains of a monument in the cemetery, and then helped restore it.
Is Halloween your busiest time of year? Yes. This year, we had 450 visitors for our Halloween tours, which tend to draw a lot of first-timers.
Your Halloween tour attire: It’s been the same for years: black top hat, cape, Halloween vest, and jeans. I also use props, like a walking hand, spiders, and George Washington’s chattering teeth. I try to entertain the visitors to the extent that I can.
Yearly visitors: Between 200,000 and 300,000. Our trolley allows us to do themed tours throughout the year, like the Women of Green-Wood and the Pioneers in Baseball of Green-Wood tours. We also host a number of book talks followed by custom-prepared trolley tours throughout the cemetery.
Most famous permanent residents: Horace Greeley [founder and editor of the New York Tribune], William Magear (“Boss”) Tweed, and Leonard Bernstein. We also have Wyckoff Van der hoef, who died at sea on the Titanic, and more than 100 people from the Brooklyn Theater Fire of 1876.
Is the cemetery running out of space? It’s 478 acres, but yes, we are running out of space for new graves. In 5 to 10 years, I think we’ll be filled up.
After Green-Wood opened in 1838, the cemetery attracted close to 500,000 visitors on a yearly basis for about 50 years. Its popularity helped inspire the building of Central Park. Photo: flickr.com/ Mambo’Dan
Cemeteries often get a bad rap, not in any small part thanks to scary movies. We spend a lot of time trying to convince people there’s nothing to be afraid of in cemeteries. We held a movie series in our chapel a few years ago to bring in children, in the hopes that they would no longer consider cemeteries a place to stay away from, but instead a great space to learn in.
Do you still show kids’ movies there? We had one vociferous complainer, so we ended that series. But we often bring in classrooms, and we’re pivoting to become a community-oriented historic park, an alternative to Central Park and Prospect Park.
Number of bodies interred at Green-Wood: More than half a million.
Okay, so you’re not scared of dead bodies. What does creep you out? Leading bus tours.
Are you superstitious? Not exactly. But I do believe that there are more than just, you know, coincidences. Sometimes, it’s like certain graves are calling to us: You never noticed me before, but I’m right over here, come take a look.
Best part of your job: The people. I’m currently writing a book for the cemetery’s 175th anniversary, for which I’m collaborating with curators, Pulitzer Prize winners, and other experts in their fields.
Most challenging part of your job: Keeping track of everything that needs to get done. But that’s a good problem to have.
What would people be surprised to learn about you? I’ve always been a collector — baseball cards, duck decoys, nineteenth century primitive tools, photographic paperweights, and architectural details. And I already mentioned stereoscopic views.
If you had one hour of free time, where would you spend it? I love Acadia National Park in Maine, and the American Wing at the Met[ropolitan Museum of Art]. But Green-Wood, with all its levels of interest and discovery, is my favorite place.
Your favorite spots at Green-Wood: The spectacular marble carving of Jane Griffith, the Beard Bear, the Civil War Soldiers’ Lot, and Niblo Mausoleum on Crescent Water. Oh, and the hill above Valley Water where the Tiffanys are interred and my gravestone stands.
The tombstone of Frank Morgan, the title character in the The Wizard of Oz. Spoiler alert: this was not built with emeralds or yellow brick.
Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? No. After the tours, I’m pretty much done with Halloween. But I’ll still give out candy to the neighborhood children.
Do you plan to be buried at Green-Wood? Yes, I have a grave there. There is value in having a place where your loved ones can pay their respects.
LAUNCHING YOUR CAREER>>
Create a position on your own if you see a need for it. Approach the people who have funding and explain what you can do for them. In 174 years, Green-Wood has had only one other historian, and he died more than 100 years ago. Fortunately, I was able to come in and offer something helpful to our society.
Jeff Moore lives at an equestrian facility with his family. His father influenced his passion for animals at an early age. Photo: Cindy Sloan
One evening in central Washington, Jeff Moore received an urgent call. The man on the line was five hours away, in Canada – a horse trainer on his way to a big race with six horses in tow. He needed Moore’s help, so the two met at a halfway point, a deserted truck stop on the side of a highway. There, Moore cracked open his toolkit, filled with a pulsed electromagnetic blanket, micro-current machines, heat, and ice.
Moore is a certified equine bodyworker. He traverses North America to heal injured and sore horses on family farms using qigong, the Chinese medicinal practice of aligning breath and movement for exercise and meditation purposes.
“Working with horses is a peaceful, meditative job,” says Jeff Moore, as his two-year-old wails in the background. “It’s like I’m in a whole other world. Communicating with [the horses] is not always verbal. The essence is movement and body language.”
Age: 54 Grew up in: The Philippines and California. My father was drafted into the military. Based in: Oregon Graduated from: University of Washington, degree in biology Years in the business: 20 years
Previous jobs: I worked at the Washington Department of Fish & Wildlife, but I didn’t want to work for a state agency. So I bought an outfitting business and took people horseback riding in Hells Canyon between Idaho and Oregon. A client opened my eyes to how chiropracy can help horses move better and make them happier and safer, and I followed that healing path.
Job description in two sentences: I do bodywork, training, saddle fits, and clinics to help horses move correctly again. I’m also a qigong instructor, which has really informed what I do with the horses.
The Robert Redford movie has left Moore with disdain for the term horse whisperer. Photo: bossip.com
How large are the horses you work with? Anywhere from 80-pound miniature horses to 1,800-pound warmbloods. But size doesn’t matter much. Ponies and bullfighting horses in Mexico move relatively similarly.
Most common problem: Riders. A lot of what happens to horses is because of humans, often because they’re sitting incorrectly or forcing something that shouldn’t be forced.
Your toolkit: Mostly my hands and eyes. I’m not much of a gadget person, but I do use a pulsed electromagnetic blanket that helps increases circulation, micro-current machines, heat, and ice. You need to know horses’ movements well enough to be able to see what’s not right.
In that sense, horse chiropracy seems similar to human chiropracy. Yes. A physical therapist can know biomechanics from the books, but if he’s also a runner, he has an intuitive sense of what’s happening in a runner’s body. So having the experience of being a rider and a trainer helps me with my work.
Trained by: An equine chiropractor. Legally, you have to be a vet to do any type of chiropractic or acupuncture work on a horse. I’m not a vet, but I’m certified as a equine massage therapist.
Best part of your job: I’m making the world a better place, one horse at a time. I’m helping to bridge the understanding gap between humans and horses. Horses are highly emotional animals.
Most challenging part of your job: Horse owners. Usually, when I see that a rider is hurting the horse, it’s not intentional. But my job is to keep out my judgment and help them in any way I can. People own horses for a variety of therapeutic reasons, not simply because they enjoy riding.
When horses photobomb. Photo: flickr.com / Andreas Müller via buzzfeed.com
What would people be surprised to learn about your job? How sensitive horses are. They just want to get along; they’re incredibly forgiving of humans’ mistakes. The more I approach them from a healing point of view, the more I realize that.
Other animals you work with: I gave a client’s chicken monthly massages for the same fees that I charge for horses. I’ve also worked on cows, pigs, dogs, and cats.
Standard session: About 1.5 hours for $135; clinics for neural re-patterning last for three days. I work with 20 to 25 horses each week on an as-needed basis.
Session rundown:
I typically don’t get too much information about a horse before arriving at the barn, so when I get there, I ask the owner what’s going on. By listening to the owner, I start a diagnosis in my head.
I get my hands on the horse and ask the horse what’s wrong. I watch him move. Sometimes, there’s a big difference between what the owner thinks is going on and what the horse thinks is going on.
I decide what tool(s) will best help that horse: body clinics, physical bodywork, fractural relief, or spinal adjustment. I’ve been doing this long enough that it’s often apparent what’s wrong. For chronic musculoskeletal conditions, Moore integrates traditional vet diagnoses with therapeutic horse shoeing, spinal mobilization, acupressure, and flower essences.
Do you own any horses? We have a thoroughbred mare, an English cob, and a 19-year-old Arabian horse that my 9-year-old daughter rides and jumps. We also have a few cats and dogs.
If you could communicate with horses, what would you say? “I’m sorry for my species.”
2012 has been an exciting year for No Joe Schmo. Most notably, we were featured on Forbes‘ first-ever list of Top 75 Websites For Your Career, and we hit our 100th post here on NoJoeSchmo.com. We’re planning even more exciting things for 2013.
![Umpteen years ago, a psychic told me that I was going to do something wonderful with kids," Santa Sid recalls. "[This job] might be draining...but I can put a smile on anyone's face."](http://nojoeschmo.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/withbaby2.jpg)
